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Humor & Entertain

The Librarian and the Porn Star

“I partied with a porn star last Saturday,” my co-worker Cat confided during a lull at the circulation desk in the suburban library where we work.

I’m 60. Cat is 30.

Despite the age gap, we’re workplace pals.

“You partied with a porn star?” I asked. “Tell me more.”

“His name is Colby Keller. He invited my friend Jeff to a party at his place in Baltimore, and Jeff brought me along.  Jeff didn’t tell me that his pal Colby was a porn star. If I’d known, I might have felt uncomfortable or awkward. But I had no preconceptions. So it was like meeting any other really cute guy.”

“A really cute guy? Let’s take a look.” Did this qualify as a valid research question? I didn’t see why not. But just to play it safe, I looked up Keller’s blog  on my IPAD mini. And…. there he was!  A full frontal photo of a very buff dude wearing nothing but a smile. And glasses! Nothing makes a librarian’s heart beat faster than a cute guy in glasses.

“Colby Keller,” read the banner at the top of the site. “Colby like cheese. Keller like Helen.”

There was nothing unsavory, sad or sleazy-looking about Mr. Keller. He looked happy, fresh-faced and engaging. (And, anatomically, more than qualified for his chosen profession.)

In my youth, I definitely would have partied with him.

“What kind of party was it?” I asked. “Dancing and drugs and debauchery?”

“Actually,” said Kat, “it was rather spiritual.”

“A spiritual porn star? No kidding.“

“He had decided to give away all of his possessions,“ Cat said.  “As a kind of spiritual exercise. Or maybe as a conceptual art project. Everyone he’d invited over was supposed to choose a few things they wanted. Then we each took a photo with Colby and the things we’d selected. He’s going to post them on his blog.“

“That’s not what you imagine when you think ‘party with a porn star.’”

“I know! That was the cool thing about it.”

The library remained quiet, so I was able to devote a few more minutes to researching Mr. Keller. I quickly turned up a Huffington Post interview which called him an “introverted gay porn star.” Not only that, but he’s apparently quite the intellectual. A sample quote:

“A good part of sex and nearly all of ’love’ is a frustrated (through immensely rewarding, if done properly) attempt to experience and share in the subjectivity of others.”

Next to these words? A breath-taking shot of the speaker in nothing but the skimpiest of briefs. Sharing his subjectivity would be no trouble at all.

“Was there a mad rush for everybody to grab his stuff?“ I asked.

“Not at all,“ Cat said. “We were all very well behaved.”

“So, what did you end up with?“

“A couple of great — and expensive — art books, a beautiful vintage 80s dress and a terrific piece of costume jewelry.”

“Do you think you’ll see him again?“

“I hope so! I gave him a big hug when we left.”

In my life I’ve done my fair share of partying. And I once spent the night with a famous singer-songwriter.

But I’ve never hugged a porn star.

“If you’d asked if I wanted to party with the star of “Deep Water Beach Patrol,” “Cowboys 2,” and “Splittin Wood,” Cat said, “ I might have hesitated. But since I didn’t know about that stuff, meeting Colby wasn’t a big deal at all. He’s just a great guy.” Do you think that you wouldn’t enjoy partying with the star of “Dragon Cumblast?” Or that hot young porn stars can’t also be intellectuals? Do you assume that we librarians never party with porn stars?

Don’t be so sure.

The only thing I know for certain at age 60? Life is full of surprises.

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4 Comments

  • Dianne Morris

    Dianne Morris

    POSTED MAY 12, 2014
    A friend who wants to be Anon (for good reasons!) asked me to post this as Editor. Ah for the good old days of women past 60!
    “I used to date a male prostitute who serviced men and women, pre-Aids, in younger days. Of course I never paid him ( because I didn’t need to, I was young and men were plentiful). He was in the film Cruising with Al Pacino. It was so much fun! He was a huge Texan, a complete gentleman, but he was a boy toy and I quickly became bored because he was so uneducated.”
    by DIANNE, NY

    POSTED MAY 10, 2014
    Yeah, I’m just not so sure that quote he had was all that spiritual. But then again, cute porn star, so who cares, right?
    by CAROL CASSARA

    POSTED MAY 08, 2014
    Hmm. A porn star with spirituality. I guess you sort of have to have an out-of-body experience while you’re doing your job, eh? Librarians certainly lead fascinating lives!
    by CATHY

    POSTED MAY 07, 2014
    Dragon Cumblast! hahaa this is great.
    by KELLYPOSTED MAY 07, 2014

    Ah, the celebrated world of porn stars. Did your friend happen to run into Ben Dover?
    by ROBIN K. BLUM

  • Dianne Morris

    Dianne Morris

    A friend who wants to be Anon (for good reasons!) asked me to post this as Editor. Ah for the good old days of women past 60!
    “I used to date a male prostitute who serviced men and women, pre-Aids, in younger days. Of course I never paid him ( because I didn’t need to, I was young and men were plentiful). He was in the film Cruising with Al Pacino. It was so much fun! He was a huge Texan, a complete gentleman, but he was a boy toy and I quickly became bored because he was so uneducated.”
    by DIANNE, NY
    POSTED MAY 10, 2014

    Yeah, I’m just not so sure that quote he had was all that spiritual. But then again, cute porn star, so who cares, right?
    by CAROL CASSARA
    POSTED MAY 08, 2014

    Hmm. A porn star with spirituality. I guess you sort of have to have an out-of-body experience while you’re doing your job, eh? Librarians certainly lead fascinating lives!
    by CATHY
    POSTED MAY 07, 2014
    Dragon Cumblast! hahaa this is great.
    by KELLY
    POSTED MAY 07, 2014
    Ah, the celebrated world of porn stars. Did your friend happen to run into Ben Dover?
    by ROBIN K. BLUM

  • Dianne Morris

    Dianne Morris

    A friend who wants to be Anon (for good reasons!) asked me to post this as Editor. Ah for the good old days of women past 60!

    “I used to date a male prostitute who serviced men and women, pre-Aids, in younger days. Of course I never paid him ( because I didn’t need to, I was young and men were plentiful). He was in the film Cruising with Al Pacino. It was so much fun! He was a huge Texan, a complete gentleman, but he was a boy toy and I quickly became bored because he was so uneducated.”

    by DIANNE, NY
    POSTED MAY 10, 2014
    Yeah, I’m just not so sure that quote he had was all that spiritual. But then again, cute porn star, so who cares, right?

    by CAROL CASSARA
    POSTED MAY 08, 2014
    Hmm. A porn star with spirituality. I guess you sort of have to have an out-of-body experience while you’re doing your job, eh? Librarians certainly lead fascinating lives!

    by CATHY
    POSTED MAY 07, 2014
    Dragon Cumblast! hahaa this is great.

    by KELLY
    POSTED MAY 07, 2014
    Ah, the celebrated world of porn stars. Did your friend happen to run into Ben Dover?

    by ROBIN K. BLUM

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