Love & Sex

Looking for a New Man – Or a New Dog!

I recently discovered that the man I’d loved and trusted for twenty years had a secret girlfriend on the side for the past decade. We’re parted ways and I’m trying to go on with my life.

At about the same time, my friend Judy lost her beloved elderly dog after taking care of him through a long illness. She laid him to rest and is trying to go on with her life.

So we’re in the same boat — kind of — or at least in similar boats. Judy, after a suitable period of mourning, needs to find a new dog and I, after a suitable period of anger, sorrow and kvetching, need to find a new man.

I’ve put my profile up on dating sites and asked friends to keep an eye out for great single guys. She’s combing animal rescue websites for available dogs and has asked her pals to keep an eye out for just the right adorable mutt to bring into her life.

So here’s a question — who do you think will find what she needs first? Will I find Mr. Right or will Judy find Mr. Woof?

It’s not easy to find love at age 62. Online dating profiles lie, or shade the truth. Men claim to be younger and healthier and more interesting they actually turn out to be when you meet them. It’s just as difficult, Judy tells me, to find the right rescue dog. They’re often represented as being younger and friendlier and healthier than they actually turn out to be when you turn up at the shelter for a visit.

Judy and I have both been around the block enough, man-wise and dog-wise, that we know what we need in a companion. And our needs are surprisingly similar.

Judy wants a rescue dog. Young and happy. Not too large. With the right kind of upbeat energy. But she also enjoys a bit of a challenge, so she doesn‘t want a dog who is too wimpy or submissive. Instead, she wants a dog who is well-adjusted and eager to interact with the world. Not a growler or a biter.

I want a man who is single. My age and happy. Not too large. Smart and kind and funny, with the right kind of upbeat energy. I too like a bit of challenge and would prefer a man who isn‘t too wimpy or submissive. A man who is comfortable in his own skin. Well-adjusted and eager to interact with the world. Definitely not a growler or a biter.

I believe in my heart that we’ll both succeed. After all, I have a lot to offer a man and Judy has a lot to offer a dog.

And neither of us is a quitter. We’re both very determined women.

It’s been a tough year for both of us. When I found out about Mike and Millie, I felt as if the universe had gut-punched me. And losing Rocky was absolutely devastating for Judy. Discovering that the man you love is a two-timing creep, or seeing your beloved dog through a months-long, life-ending illness will definitely cloud your ability to enjoy life.

I’m hoping for a much better 2017 for us both. A year in which I find the right man and Judy finds the right dog. (Or perhaps life will hand us an unexpected “plot twist” — and Judy will find a man and I’ll find a dog!)

Either way, by year’s end, I hope that we’ll both have found loyal and loving companions.

Wish us luck!

You may also enjoy…

All We Need is Love – From a Dog!
10 Reasons Why Dogs are Better than BoyfriendsYour Choice – Your Dog or Your Boyfriend?

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  • Jordana@Vancouver

    Bravo! I am so happy that you found solace and comfort from your readers! It truly is a global village, where we can help each other. Stay strong and thank you for your empathetic articles. Loved the part about how the two of you are on similar searches.

  • Kate

    You will both find the companion you’re looking for – and based on the old and new Shaggy Dog movies, and you might find a good combo to share. Excellent piece, as always.

  • Mickey

    Thank you again….and again, Roz. You are so wonderful, so cool, so superlative. No ‘advice’ for either you or Judy. C.J. Cherryh writes that ‘you do not choose love; love chooses you.’ Most likely that applies to dogs as well. We acquired our present dog, not submissive, not cuddly, scared of loud noises whether it is the fireworks on the 31st or the 4th or dropping a frying pan. We dose her with an herbal anxiety relief and it helps. As for men, well, I gave up ‘looking’ for many reasons, most of all my inability to sense whether or not the man’s personality, etc. was a good match. Better to be managing my life alone without complications of another life. Blessings on you both in your searches. Hugs and happy, happy, peace and serenity.

  • Stacia Friedman

    My money is on the dog. Although the last time I looked for love at the SPCA, I wound up with an adorable pup who was crazy about me but viciously attacked every man in sight. Obviously, the Pom/Chihuahua mix had relationship issues that were worse than mine.

  • Amanda

    I’m sort of envious already as I at 58 have been searching for the last five years for such a man, and suspect you will find one quite easily, as all I read is how easy it is to find a date, I can’t even get that far I am I suspect ‘too picky’ as for the dog, it would be the opposite problem, I’m just pushover with animals and would probably take the first one I found lol. Good luck both of you, I would love to hear the progress reports.

  • Cathy Sikorski

    I have no doubt that both you and Judy will find your companions. The ‘weeding’ process is probably not the most fun, but you could make it fun…like, compare notes with Judy, on every date you go on you could ask if they know of anyone who does dog rescue or needs to get a good home for a dog. And Judy could do the same..ask at the shelter if any single men were looking for more than one companion! Good luck to both of you!

  • Carol A Cassara

    I think if you found the right dog, yourself, the right man would come around. But then, that’s just my opinion. For sure, Judy will find her dog first!

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