Humor & Entertain

In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle, the Giraffes Hum Tonight

I just read in Time Magazine that giraffes, who were always thought to be silent animals, actually hum to each other at night.  Time didn’t tell us what giraffes hum to each other at night.  Show tunes? Pop songs? Jazz standards?

Are giraffes entertaining each other with “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” and “Happy?” Or are they humming the classics, like “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” and “Fly Me To The Moon?”

Do they all hum at once or do they take turns? And are they pleasing their fellow giraffes or annoying the hell out of them? After years of trying to sleep beside a partner who snores, all I know is that if I were a giraffe trying to get some shut-eye and my partner began humming, I wouldn’t be enchanted. I’d want to whack him on the neck with my hoof and yell  “Shut Up!”

Although, according to Time, this doesn’t happen. Or rather,  if it does, Time hasn’t reported it.

And why do they only hum at night? If there’s something we can extract from them that prevents humming from taking place during daylight hours, I love to bottle it and slip it into the drinks of a couple of incredibly irritating nonstop tuneless hummers I know.

My favorite part of this story is the thought that somebody actually got research money to explore this.  Some eager grad student put together a grant proposal asking for funding for “What Do Giraffes Do At Night?” and somebody wrote him a fat check.

I certainly hope it was government money. I’d much rather see my tax dollars going to explore the nocturnal activities of even-toed ungulate mammals than building bombs.

All I know for sure is that now that this research has born fruit, there will be more. What next? “What do giraffes do at dawn? Tap dance?“ “Now that we know that giraffes can hum, can we teach one to play an oboe?” “And what about tigers? Do tigers hum too? Or do they form themselves into  impromptu Barber Shop Quartets in the jungle every night and sing “Let Me Call You Sweetheart?”

And when giraffes are done humming, what do they do for an encore? Ride skateboards backwards while playing “Disco Inferno” on the trumpet? I’d be happy to check that out. Fund me.

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43 Comments

  • Avatar

    John dow

    I always thought it was odd a mammal that was silent. They have been humming “happy birthday to you” in the past few days eh? 45 if I remember correctly.

  • Avatar

    Maria

    They relate to the country song ‘Longnecks and Rednecks’ for obvious reasons:

    Longnecks ain’t nothin’ without rednecks
    It takes more than a cowboy hat to really make them cool
    And rednecks ain’t nothin’ without longnecks
    That’s why we all feel ten feet tall sittin’ on a stool

  • Avatar

    hillsmom

    Perhaps they are humming “I Get a Kick out of You…”? Or humming the ever popular Boynton tune, “Hippo Birdie two ewe…”. Well, a good friend remembers your Birthday, but not which one. 😎

  • Avatar

    Liz L.

    Giraffes hum, “Born Free.” They heard the tune over and over again during the movie filming. It became an oral tradition. As natural sopranos, giraffes produce angelic hums that are rarely heard on the ground. I had a partial grant. That’s how I know this.

  • Avatar

    Mickey

    Yea, found it! And laughing, still laughing. Humming giraffes. Yes. And WRITE me a check! If I’d won the lottery, (can’t win if you play), then I’d be getting out that checkbook. Thank you, Roz. Enjoy your day.

  • Avatar

    Leslie Gandler

    The only time they weren’t humming was when they had to stop and talk…they had to input “Dear Roz” at the appropriate time or we wouldn’t have known it was your special day. Have a great year!

  • Avatar

    Tim Jones

    Fun one, Roz. I will be happy to fund any research on jungle animals you get approval for just so long as I get to go along for a safari and get to wear one of those pith helmets. Always wanted one of those.

  • Avatar

    Toni Myers

    Happy Birthday, Roz. Brilliant. You need that grant to enlighten us further. Check out the British comedians’ ubiquitous videos
    on YouTube, the animal voiceovers. Especially the giraffe one.

  • Avatar

    Toni Myers

    Happy Birthday to you, Roz. I love this. Have those ubiquitous British comedians doing voiceovers on YouTubes done giraffes?
    Actually, yes. I remember a bit where they are whacking each other on the necks, one of them jealous the other is looking at
    other females.
    You need that grant. So much to study about giraffes.

  • Avatar

    Suzanne Fluhr

    Happy birthday.You don’t look a day over _1!

    I doubt giraffes play the oboe. I used to play the oboe. It is very difficult even for beings with opposable thumbs. My husband has to compete with humming giraffe research for government funding to help him find a cure for lung cancer?

  • Avatar

    Jim Sullivan

    Congratulations! There are only so many writers who can use “even-toed ungulate mammals” and not come across as pompous jerks. Nice job.

  • Avatar

    Jim Sullivan

    Congratulations! There are only so many writers who can pull off “even-toed ungulate mammals” and not come across as pompous jerks. Damn good job.

  • Dianne Morris

    Dianne Morris

    This comment from Susan Jordan failed to post:
    Nice to see you venturing into my area … music, that is. My guess as to what the giraffes hum would be Saint-Saens “Carnival of the Animals.”

    Loved this, and I had money, I would definitely fund your research!

  • Avatar

    Carol Graham

    Thoroughly enjoyed this – especially the part about government funding. Oh, and……it IS my birthday today – think I will go to the zoo.

  • Avatar

    Susan Jordan

    Nice to see you venturing into my area … music, that is. My guess as to what the giraffes hum would be Saint-Saens “Carnival of the Animals.”

    Loved this, and I had money, I would definitely fund your research!

    • Avatar

      Leslie Gandler

      I think they’re humming the happy birthday song. I’m fairly certain they are because I heard them when they had to stop humming to talk…well they had to say “dear Roz,” before they could resume humming or how would we have known it was your birthday? Have a wonderful year!

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