Humor & Entertain

If You Were a Book, Who Would You Be?

One of my colleagues recently posted an intriguing question on my favorite Facebook Librarian hangout: “If you were being sold in a library book sale, which table would you be on?”

She had her first response within seconds:

Damaged.

Quickly followed by:

Mystery!

Adventure.

Bible stories. (I’m born again.

True Crime (I work in a prison library.)

Humor books! (They’re easy to read and you walk away smiling.)

As more librarians got into the game, the comments poured in:

Withdrawn.

Ephemera.

Inspirational (I want to make a difference in the lives of others.)

Overlooked gems.

Bedtime stories.

Audio Books. (I never shut up.)

A few responses were both insightful and descriptive:

I’m the book leveling out the table the other books are arranged on.

I’d be under the table, out of sight and forgotten, in a waterlogged box full of baby spiders.

But most of the comments were limited to a few quick words:

Staff picks.

Oddities.

Fantasy!

Trivia.

Self Help.

I’m a trashy romance!

Some answers would seem to reflect low self esteem:

Hurt.

Distressed.

Never checked out.

Fragile. Handle with Care.

Others, not so much:

Rare finds.

Classics.

One-of-a-kind.

Valuable.

A few comments referenced the fact that some of us are getting on in years:

Old and unusual.

Used but useful.

Cover shows wear but contents still good.

Vintage and fabulous.

And then there were the librarians who walk on the wild side:

Banned Books.

DANGEROUS! ADULTS ONLY!

Forbidden… but alluring.

Sexy!

Cheap & Easy [snickers]

My very favorite response? (And entirely realistic, given this crowd?):

Scratched by cats.

In conclusion? One of the many joys of library work is having such clever, fun-loving colleagues. As far as I’m concerned, we’re all Rare Finds.

How about you? If you were a sale book, which table would you be on?

Post your response in the Comments Section.

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28 Comments

  • Avatar

    Mickey

    I’d be in the recycle bin if the store put books there or maybe in the dumpster or maybe out front in the ‘free’ pile. If I had a dust jacket, it’d be torn, dirty, coffee stained, is that pumpkin cake or cream cheese frosting?, or maybe taped with packing tape. Ha! Thanks, Roz. Oh, YEA! Our public library has TWO copies of your book on its shelves! Yea!

  • Avatar

    Beverly La Rock

    Historical Fiction. I have seen enough of it. I love history especially from the side of the losers and that view point is often the fiction part.

  • Avatar

    Sharon

    Great story, gives us much to think about. With just a moment I think I’d fit into
    Humor
    Inspirational
    Used but still valid

  • Avatar

    Amy

    Really fun! I laughed out loud at work… hopefully no one heard me. My colleagues aren’t don’t seem to be as fun loving as librarians.

  • Avatar

    Molly Stevens

    I would be on the table with the classics…that is, the Reader’s Digest Condensed versions of the classics. Because I’m shallow. And I like getting to the point. Great post!

  • Avatar

    Molly Stevens

    I would be on the table with all the Classics…..that is, the Reader’s Digest Condensed versions. Because I’m shallow. And I like to get to the point. Great post!

  • Avatar

    Mickey

    I should know better than to click on something unknown. I wrote a long comment and it got erased. Never mind. I’d be a cookbook or an anthology of mystery writers from the Golden Age to present. So many choices. Love you, love your writing, Roz.

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    Mickey

    That was wonderful! I happen to be reading a stack of books by Nicolas Bisbanes who has written and published seriously heavy tomes about books, book collecting, book collectors, and not in the least important, paper. All of the comments listed in the article are spot on about books and book collecting, book buying. I love the one about the water logged box filled with baby spiders (?!). Spiders in water? The Dangerous Adults Only instantly brought to mind, eww, Borat. There are 14 copies of that (you fill in the blank word) book in our public library here in Tucson and my personal feeling is they should all be in the land fill or, okay, at the porn adult book store on Miracle Mile. Awful, creepy book. When I asked to have it removed, the response was that it got good reviews on Amazon. Right. Did you read those reviews?! They were tongue in cheek! I digress. What book would I be? A cookbook? An anthology of my favorite mystery writers? So many choices. Thank you, Roz. Love you, love your writing.

  • Avatar

    1010ParkPlace

    Love this question because it’s so fun! I’d be a best-selling, nonfiction, adventure story. Every word is true! Brenda

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