As women hit their 50s and 60s, we have less blood flow and less sensitivity in our genital tissues. We’re not as quick to become aroused. Many women interpret the lack of arousal as a sign to just give up on sex. But what it really means is that what came without trying when we were young, now requires assistance.
I like to use the reading glasses analogy. When we reach 50, it’s not so easy to read the fine print, but we don’t stop reading. Instead we get reading glasses. The same is true with the physical changes that come with menopause. We don’t have to give up on sex. We can compensate by taking more time, energy and attention to reawaken our sensations. Using sexual aids such as personal or small vibrators for women, warming lubricants or clitoral pumps are excellent ways to increase self-awareness and sensation.
Here are four ways you can increase your stimulation.
Use a personal vibrator.
A personal vibrator – also called a clitoris vibrator or intimate compact massager – can enhance vaginal comfort and awaken interest in sex. Whatever their shape, large or small, vibrators for women all have motors that make them vibrate to stimulate the clitoris. A vibrator helps increase genital sensation and can bring you to orgasm.
Even before menopause, surprisingly few women are able to achieve orgasm during intercourse. But especially with menopause, when vaginal tissues become thinner and circulation diminishes, we need more stimulation for sexual satisfaction. Vibrators can help before and during partnered sex, to add that extra stimulation that helps a woman reach orgasm.Self-stimulation with a vibrator will help older women maintain healthy vaginal tissues between sexual encounters and between sexual partners.
And regular clitoral stimulation with a vibrator can help awaken and keep our sexuality alive. Just a little bit of regular clitoral stimulation can have a profound effect, awakening our interest in sex and our sense of ourselves as sexual beings.
Whether we’re on our own or with a partner, we need to be familiar with our own bodies. Self-stimulation is an important skill for any woman who wishes to develop and maintain her ability to enjoy sex.
Few women achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone: It takes direct stimulation of the clitoris for most of us. Most women also don’t achieve orgasm without learning to stimulate the clitoris on their own. Like any skill, the more we practice self-stimulation, the more successful we become. Regular self-stimulation helps us remain responsive to sexual attention from our partner. And, stimulation as part of foreplay before intercourse can ready your genital tissues for enjoyment.
Use a warming lubricant.
A “warming” lubricant or oil contains minty or peppery ingredients, which increase sensation and stimulate circulation in genitals before and during sex, with or without a personal vibrator.
The sensation can last from a few minutes to a few hours. Water-based warming lubricants are good for self-stimulation and for vaginal penetration. Warming oils, on the other hand, are meant for external genitalia only, and are especially good for pre-penetration arousal or non-intercourse sexual play.
Women over 55 especially like warming products because the drop in circulating hormones means many of us have decreased circulation and sensation in our genitals. Warming products help us regain that sensation.
Use a clitoral pump.
As we grow older, our genital tissues receive less blood flow. Less blood flow in the clitoris means less sensation, and that can inhibit sexual interest and satisfaction. Clitoral pumps are vacuum-powered devices that gently draws blood to the clitoris and surrounding area They are used therapeutically several times a week to restore blood flow, and can also be used either before or between sexual encounters to help maintain clitoral sensation.
Finding ways to increase blood flow, through regular sex, self-stimulation, and using devices like a personal vibrator or clitoral pump are all good ways to maintain your genitals and your sex life.