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Are Women Bad Negotiators?

The problem of over-achieving women receiving under-achieving results is everywhere. So why is that? In a word, ‘negotiation’ says Mariela Dabbah, best-selling author of “Find Your Inner Red Shoes.”

Negotiation FAULTS OF Women:

1. Women are convinced that their circumstances are fixed and out of their control, whereas men tend to see negotiation possibilities everywhere.

2. Women see common interest and try to find a joint solution, whereas men say, “This is what I want and I won’t budge.”

3. A women’s sense of entitlement is weaker in females than in men. A study conducted by two psychologists found that females would pay themselves 19% less than males would for the same task.

4. Unlike men, women don’t lobby for pay raises *in advance* of performance evaluations. Then when pay-raises occur, managers (male or female) think Jane didn’t ask for anything so I can give her a smaller share, and give John what he wants so he doesn’t quit.

5. Studies show an aggressive attitude sometimes displayed by men generates a negative perception if exhibited by women.

Dabbah believes the secret of negotiating for women lies in knowing your worth, keeping your integrity, being true to yourself, and creating alliances with men who could support you throughout the negotiation process. Find Dabbah’s tips on helping women become better negotiators below:

10 Tips to Becoming a Better Negotiator for Woman

1.) Establish clear goals. Ask for what you need and what you want.

2.) Equip yourself with knowledge of what’s fair and typical.

3.) Make a list of what you are willing to give up and what’s non-negotiable.

4.) Talk about your achievements objectively and use numbers to quantify your achievements.

5.) Earn more than a salary – negotiate your vacation time, work-at-home time, title, office space, promotions, projects, budgets, and responsibilities.

6.) See the potential to negotiate everything and everywhere – personally and professionally.

7.) Take a win-win position by anticipating questions and seeing things from the other person’s perspective.

8.) Control your emotions and don’t take things personally.

9.) If all else fails, consider a ‘best alternative to a negotiated agreement’ or BATNA. Having a worst case scenario in the back of your mind will often prove to get you more than you’d receive if you didn’t negotiate at all.

10.) Always convey self-confidence, conviction of ideas, and certainty to gain an advantage in negotiations.

Mariela Dabbah, author of “Find Your Inner Red Shoes: Step Into Your Own Style of Success” (CA Press, May 2013) offers the evidence, research, and recommendations to empower and inspire diverse audience to take the steps needed to fulfill their dreams.

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