Are you looking for new, satisfying ways to relate to your spouse? After you’ve been together for some years, it’s easy to fall into old, predictable patterns. For couples over 50, habit, responsibilities and familiarity can take a toll on your relationship. If you’re wondering how to revitalize your marriage, here are 5 tips to help you two reconnect with each other.
1. Invest in dialogue
Talk out misunderstandings before they become full-fledged arguments. Use active listening techniques and practice sending I-messages to keep your conversations civil. Look for ways to cooperate and compromise rather than try to win at all costs. Respect your differences and fight fairly.
2. Be playful
Schedule a date night alone each week where you can enjoy fun times together. Give compliments freely and cultivate a sense of humor with each other. You’ll be able to share a laugh, even through tough times. Plan adventures that keep you engaged with your spouse.
3. Apologize and forgive
There will inevitably be conflicts but, even if your partner has hurt you, find a way to let go of your anger and resentment. Genuinely take responsibility for your own mistakes. When you clear the air, you allow for a more positive attitude.
4. Make time for romance
Being affectionate and intimate will help you remember why you fell in love. Express gratitude for the mature love you’ve developed and don’t take each other for granted. If you find your bonds becoming stale, explore new ways of expressing your sensuality and sexuality together.
5. Build trust and loyalty
Your commitment to each other provides the support that sustains both of you. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. The confidence you develop from a secure relationship lets you maintain your own space and pursue independent goals outside of the relationship, as well as focus on your shared vision.
Acceptance of your lover’s weaknesses, and your own, can make their strengths even more attractive. When you’re aware that no one is perfect, it paves the way for celebrating the years together with your partner.
Whether you’ve been together five years or fifty – focus on nurturing your relationship. When you invest in your partnership, you build a solid foundation to support you through the myriad of challenges you’ll face through the years.
© 2015, Her Mentor Center, Rosemary Lichtman and Phyllis Goldberg